For Uncle Tony
Past Tense – For Uncle Tony
The Silecchia family is from a small town called Bitetto on the Southeastern coast of Italy. The US branch of the family still keeps many of the Italian traditions and culture. It’s a big fun Italian family.
Collette Campbell’s mother is a Silecchia and her favorite Uncle Tony an accountant who managed money well. He would often help family members and was very kind and generous. Tony was drafted into the Army in the 60s and served two tours in Vietnam. He was married to Collette’s Aunt Maryann for 53 years. Maryann would often babysit Collette and she would call her “Mimi.” They were very close. The family was supposed to spend the Memorial Day weekend together at a lakefront home with other family members and enjoy the holiday.
May 27th, 2022 Uncle Tony suffered a heart attack, and in a moment, he was gone. The family was shocked. Everyone came to Aunt Maryann’s home to console and comfort each other. Collette had expected to be speaking and enjoying her Uncle Tony that weekend. To Collette it was as if her favorite Uncle Tony had just stepped out of the room, she still felt his presence. The family was telling stories of Uncle Tony and they were already speaking of him in the past tense, like “He was” or “He said”. Collette hadn’t arrived at that point yet. That dose of reality was a hard shock which attached to her grief.
It was a difficult weekend. Processing grief in her own way Collette wanted to pay tribute to her uncle Tony. She wrote him a song and called it “Past Tense”. She wrote the lyrics and the melody over a few months. It was hard for Collette because she was so close to her Uncle. When she finished it, her Aunt was the first to hear song as a gift to her and Uncle Tony. Aunt Maryann was deeply touched, a bit overwhelmed, but very grateful. It helped her remember how wonderful Tony was. It helped her process her grief at a critical time.
The powerful lyrics “I know I’m not use to you in past tense” touched Aunt Maryann. The song says “you were here now your gone”, “I know we have to move on”, “without you” and it really reaches down deep emotionally.
Collette says when you release music into the world it’s no longer just for you. Everyone can interpret the song in their own way and for their own grief. The scope of the story is very broad but can also point directly at a listener. The song affects everyone that hears it.
Grief is an uncomfortable thing. It is truly painful and Collette uses the song to describe how painful grief is to process and it helps. Some say as long as we remember loved ones, sometimes speaking of them, (or hear a song like Past Tense) they are never really gone.
After she came to Key West, Collette started playing the song solo. People would come up to her afterwards and thank her for helping them too. There are little magic moments that listeners have related to her. It happens all the time.
One person brought his sons with him to spread his wife’s ashes near Key West. They had been divorced for 30 years. After hearing Past Tense he thanked Collette for helping him remember the good times.
One night while performing at Pinchers she gave a short explanation of Past Tense and Uncle Tony before playing the song. A tourist from New York set a small bottle near her feet. After the song ended, he came over and they spoke. The small bottle contained the ashes of his best friend he carries with him, who had recently passed. Past Tense really resonated with him. He still felt his friend’s presence more significantly during the song.
Uncle Tony’s brother Jerry, Collette’s Grandfather passed away a little over a year later. Collette played Past Tense for the whole family. It helped to heal the loss and process the grief. They all loved it.
The great Shel Silverstein once said “If it ain’t recorded, it never happened.” Collette teamed up with Jeff Dalton, Ross Brown, and Evan Valentine at Dalton’s new Sunrise Studios of Marathon to record Past Tense. When Collette first started playing the song the tempo was too fast Ross Brown slowed it down a bit and created a new meaning for the heartbeat like guitar riffs. Jeff Dalton’s bass lines are very complimentary along with Evan’s drumming, plus Jeff added some ascending special piano notes.
I find myself listening to the song as I write this column. It’s just beautiful. Not bad for a first song release.
She and Ross Brown are playing duets frequently at Blue Heaven and formed a group called “CC and the Sunsetters” along with Mark King and Evan Valentine. They perform every Tuesday at Sunset Pier. The Sunsetters play December 5th at Sloppy Joes, they will host a Release party for Past Tense at Schooner Wharf on November 29th. Be there and be affected.
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